I’m glad I got this question, it’ll allow me to voice some things I’ve learnt recently. At my university, we have a dedicated personality research team and I was lucky enough to spend an afternoon talking with one of the researchers about MBTI, Big 5 and what the scientific community think about personality.
From her, I learnt that personality is believed to be circumstantial more than anything. She also thought that MBTI is a great tool for understanding the basics of personality, but there is a lot more to it than that. The one trait that does seem to give MBTI a lot of its support is the introversion/extroversion trait but the only differences that I can see between the two is how often someone relays their thoughts and actualises their ideas, in (to?) the environment; introverts tend to be a bit reserved, less quick to share what they are thinking and prefer to observe rather than act. Extroverts tend to relay what they are thinking as they think it and display more of a drive to actualise their ideas. (There is a lot of biological factors involved in determining how much of an introvert or extrovert one is - but that’s probably a post for another day).
However, you can also see how these two traits can be heavily dependant on environmental factors too. But according to the researcher I spoke to, there is very little support for the word “ambivert”, used to describe a mixture of both behaviours, she had never even heard of it. That’s not to say it doesn’t exist at all, I think it’s just that researcher’s prefer to call personality circumstantial.
So to you I would say, well done for being human. (not being sarcastic, at least not trying to anyway)
NiTe - CognitiveType Visual Reading
Very interesting. But of course, not all INTJ’s will fit this criterion.
I don’t know to be honest. I think just time will help them and having someone that they can talk to about these conflicting emotions…
With my INTP friend I honestly just try to remain as patient as possible while she tries to explore these emotions. Sorry I couldn’t be of much help.
Can any follower offer a suggestion?
I am very, very, very sorry this is only being replied to now. So in order to try and make up for this, I will give as much detail as possible. But on the whole, I bloody ship it!
Okay, so I’m not sure if you are an INFJ or INTJ so I’ll try to stay balanced but of course I will talk more about INFJ’s. I don’t feel comfortable talking about INTJ’s as I’m sure one of my followers will be better equipped to give a more detailed response than I am.
Anyway, to an INFJ, the INTJ is very easy to talk to. I guess because we share the same dominant function. They seem to know a lot about the world in general, which I appreciate. My INTJ friend appreciates my insight into people and she says that she likes having someone to talk to about it. And all her feels xD
Both types are naturally patient with each other, it’s very nice because even a little understanding goes a long way.
But of course, I bet you’re more interested in where it might go wrong?
Yes, there will be problems and snags. Mainly in the Fe/Te department. I suppose it’s because both functions are extroverted. But my INTJ friend likes to put her plans into action… I honestly, don’t care about that side much. I just like to talk about my problems, I don’t want to fix them. But I appreciate that my INTJ takes time out to help me come up with solutions that actually work! I just find I always lose interest in taking her up on them very quickly. This might offend her, I don’t know. But I hope it doesn’t.
Another thing I might add is INFJ/INTJ debating. Jesus, I don’t think there isn’t any NT who is cautious about debating an NF because we get so emotionally attached. It’s true, we are more susceptible to taking things personally. I did a little digging into human psychology and what not to see why this may be and the best I can come up with is INFJ’s are probably more susceptible to emotional hijacking. If this happens, be assured you have personally offended the INFJ in question. It may not be what was said at that particular moment in time, but it will be something you have done that is relevant to this topic at hand. In order to not fall victim of the INFJ wrath, let them cool down. Seriously. This mode is a primitive “fight or flight” mode so all access to their logical brain has been cut off as the emotional brain has hijacked the controls. Do not use personal pronouns - as then you have opened the door to personal attacks - and just stop arguing and walk away if you must. When they have calmed down, you can resume the topic of discussion logically and civilly. But if you try and reason with anyone who’s under emotional hijack, they will rip you apart personally. In this kind of mental state, you are the enemy so they must attack. And unfortunately it is here people say things they often regret immediately after, so just don’t let it get that far.
Hate to sound dramatic but that’s just how the emotional brain works.
Hope that helps and best of luck!
So I was with a friend last night. She’s an ENTP, and I was trying to describe to her the way my mind works and I said something like this:
Sometimes, my imagination just gets the better of me so I might be looking at an object but I will project my own idea of that object on to it. So for example I may be looking at a sunflower blowing in the wind. If I want to see a sunflower blowing in the wind with darker petals and a broken leaf, that’s what I’ll see. It doesn’t matter what the flower actually looks like in reality, if I decide I want to see it a certain way, I will. And sometimes I can get carried away with this and this is how I find myself in my own little world, separate from objective reality.
Does that make sense? Is this similar to a way a Ne user’s mind works?
This might be of interest to anyone who wants to learn more about the functions! Check it out!
If you don’t know who Dr Nardi is or why that is important, click the link to find out.
continuousinitiation replied to your post: INXJs and Arrogance.
I know an INFJ who seems really logical but has some illogical ideas that he holds a firm ground to. INTJs are definitely more logical IME, easier to debate with etc. But I love INFJs :)
Everyone loves INFJs lol!
No but seriously, as an INFJ I am told very often I’m “illogical” but in the end, I am still proven right (though this could just be confirmation bias at play) so I don’t really care. As far as I’m concerned, people are NOT logical, so when I build up my people based systems, a lot of my beliefs will reflect that.
asongofopposites replied to your post: Reply to “INXJs and Arrogance”
INTJs are more logical because Te. INFJs will firmly hold illogical ideas because of Fe which is objective, but will seem more logical in other ways because of Tert Ti which they often use in conjuction with Ni (NiTI) and bypass the Fe function.
Yeah I kind of agree with this, but to an extent. INTJs are more logical because Te in itself is a very methodical function, but the idea that INFJs hold on to ideas because they seem more logical in other ways doesn’t really make sense and that’s not what I have experienced. I find that when people call me illogical it’s because I don’t necessarily explain myself well. Ti being my tertiary function, I seriously lack the ability to objectively and thoroughly explain why I come to the conclusions that I do (this may be different for other INFJs, of course I am not a spokes person for every INFJ). Once I have been given the chance to think about what it is I am trying to say precisely and then say it, most people follow my logic and agree with me. Often with a “GEEZ THAT MAKES AN ALARMING AMOUNT OF SENSE” type of remark. I find it really funny especially when my ENTP friend does that. And my INTP friend too!
There’s an interesting thread on Personality Cafe at the minute which is basically trying to establish that INFJs are just as “arrogant” as INTJs. I don’t think arrogant is the right word. I think “stubborn” is better and this post sums up why
[…]INFJs and INTJs are both quite stubborn in their positions. Usually because these types are correct so often. They each take situations and digest them in objective manners, forming analytic frameworks from which to give sound judgments. INFJs are adept at factoring human elements objectively through Fe. INTJs are adept at factoring in logical, more traditionally scientific elements through Te.
What does this mean?
It means that when someone is trying to approach an IN_J with a new idea or one contrary to their way of thinking, that person has to really REALLY know their stuff and be able to prove it 6 Ways from Sunday to even have the slimmest chance of changing the IN_J’s mind.
I also find that I need time to assimilate the new data before I really know where I stand on the issue. My intuition might suggest an answer right away, but I still want time to run it through my previously-constructed system before I’m ready to deliver my final personal judgment.
If an INTJ presents me with a recommended course of action, but can’t answer (to my satisfaction) questions related to how it will effect the people involved in the situation, I’m going to reject a lot of what the INTJ says to me.
If I try to present something to my INTJ brother, but fail to adequately answer his logical/scientific concerns, I’m just beating my head against a brick wall, no matter how passionately I speak.
Honestly, we’re both incredibly stubborn types.
taken from here
The peculiar nature of introverted intuition, when given the priority, also produces a peculiar type of man, viz. the mystical dreamer and seer on the one hand, or the fantastical crank and artist on the other. The latter might be regarded as the normal case, since there is a general tendency of this type to confine himself to the perceptive character of intuition. As a rule, the intuitive stops at perception; perception is his principal problem, and—in the case of a productive artist—the shaping of perception. But the crank contents himself with the intuition by which he himself is shaped and determined. Intensification of intuition naturally often results in an extraordinary aloofness of the individual from tangible reality; he may even become a complete enigma to his own immediate circle.
If an artist, he reveals extraordinary, remote things in his art, which in iridescent profusion embrace both the significant and the banal, the lovely and the grotesque, the whimsical and the sublime. If not an artist, he is frequently an unappreciated genius, a great man ‘gone wrong’, a sort of wise simpleton, a figure for ‘psychological’ novels.
Let’s be honest; this is how INTJ’s feel sometimes.
Haha, that’s a good one!
I’m putting this under a read-more, because it’s long. But basically, this is me. And I’m posting this, mainly directed at the people I would call my friends - I suppose, if I really must label them anything - because undoubtedly, they’ve made a foul on one or many (some of you way too many, and repetitively) points listed below that I want cleared up, and to hope that in the future, you will be more mindful about this if you wish to continue our relationship. That’s not an ultimatum. I’m just trying for progress, and to make my reality easier. Because I’m selfish and an egotist, and perfectly happy with that.